Some of my favourite quotes

P.G. Wodehouse
My Man Jeeves
What ho! I said.
What ho! said Motty.
What ho! What ho!
What ho! What ho! What ho!
After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.

George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

William Shakespeare
Henry IV: Part 1
[Thou] mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms!

Steve Martin
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

Jonathan Safran Foer
I read in National Geographic that there are more people alive now than have died in all of human history. In other words, if everyone wanted to play Hamlet at once, they couldn’t, because there aren’t enough skulls.

Samuel Johnson
My congratulations to you, sir. Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.

Maybe more to come

Winston Churchill
We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.

Stephen Hawking
The downside of my celebrity is that I cannot go anywhere in the world without being recognized. It is not enough for me to wear dark sunglasses and a wig. The wheelchair gives me away.

P G Wodehouse
It was my Uncle George who discovered alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

© Dave Wheatley
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